In Out of the Clear Blue Sky, there’s a guy named Ben Hallowell. Captain of a fishing boat. Cape Codder. Man of few words but can flirt when called upon. Not exactly good looking, but…he’s got this thing going on. Heck yeah, he does.
There is something about a man who’s comfortable in his own skin that makes women’s ovaries spontaneously froth with eggs. A guy doesn’t have to be handsome to be attractive. Fugly is the word that leaps to mind. You know. You’re, er, thinking about sleeping with him, even though he’s not necessarily good-looking. For example…
Adam Driver. He is simply not handsome in any way, shape or form. Big nose, weird, giant head, evil eyes and oh, my God, what is it about him? Is it because he played an evil overlord in Star Wars? I have no idea why I find him attractive, and yet I do. Oh, I do. And I'm not alone! So many women love this guy! Riots break out wherever he is. But move over, millennial girls. I’m older and wiser, if perhaps not faster.
Benedict Cumberbatch. First you have to overcome the name. Benedict is not a great name here in America, due to a certain traitor. Then there's weird, oddly fetal face. The short nose. The small eyes. The blade-like cheekbones. Even his hair color is off-putting, and yet, I would climb that man like a tree, were we both unmarried. I remember seeing him with his then-pregnant wife at an awards show, and he leaned in and asked her, in his deep, refined British voice, if she was doing okay. I also became pregnant--with twins--in that moment.
Christopher Walken. He scares little children. His smile makes him look like a serial killer, and that hair! Who can explain that hair? But the way he shambles down the street, the way he throws in a few dance moves in everything he’s in…I love you, Chris. I do. Once, McIrish was walking down the street in New York City, and lo and behold, there was Christopher Walken himself. Did my husband say, “My wife loves you”? He did not. I’m still mad about it.
Stevie Wonder. Okay, he’s not helping himself with this hair. But Stevie Wonder is so talented, so brilliant, so advanced that someday if the universe and evolution are
kind, we will all someday become Stevies. That voice. Come on. It’s perfection, and if you don’t believe me, listen to Overjoyed, which just happens to be the song McIrish and I had for our first dance as a married couple. Is Stevie Wonder handsome? Nope. He doesn’t need to be because he is everything and perfect, and I will fight you if you say anything different.
Does fugly apply to women? Of course! But I’m a heterosexual female, so I’m not quite so interested in that.
Don't forget to pre-order Out of the Clear Blue Sky, coming June 7th!