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Kristan Higgins

Line, please!



There are certain iconic lines from movies that my family uses whenever possible. My son-in-law has a freakishly good memory for dialogue, so good that the reference is often lost on the rest of us who don’t know what he’s referring to. I, too, often drop a line that my sainted husband doesn’t get. “Behold God’s mighty hand,” I might say, quoting Charlton Heston’s Moses as I pull a perfect pie out of the oven. I am rewarded with an odd look.

 

Love, Actually has blessed us with “’Tis but the work of a moment,” to be used when, say, going the extra mile in making a cocktail with fresh herbs or an especially long orange twist. “Let’s get pissed and watch porn!” we might say when contemplating evening plans. (We don’t get drunk or watch porn. It’s just Billy Mack’s way of celebrating Christmas, and we love him.)

 

There are other lines woven into the fabric of our family language, that we’ve said so often we don’t know why they still work. For example…

 

I can see it in my mind, Clark!

In our household, these lines are spoken weekly, if not more . Whether it’s McIrish responding to my description of a scene I’m writing or him demolishing a wall to expand a room in our daughter’s house, we drop this gem as often as possible. It never gets old. This line is often followed by, “She’s a beaut, Clark!” We can basically recite the entire movie. This very morning, as McIrish informed me of still more rain in the forecast, I said, “You serious, Clark?” (Cousin Eddie. Our favorite.)

 

You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

There’s a race to say this in any circumstance that has anything to do with size…putting a chair in the back of my car, loading plywood into the truck, realizing I chose a too-small pot. Supposed fun fact: this line was improvised by Roy Scheider in the movie Jaws. Verified fun fact: My current car is named Chief Brody.

 

Very nice! And also Wowee wow wow! Dearest Son is especially good at dropping Borat lines at moments that should otherwise be reverent, like meeting a newborn baby. Kills us every time.


My lips hurt real bad! Napoleon Dynamite goes to the nurse’s office, calls his brother and asks him to bring Chapstick. There’s something so innocent about the movie, so many golden lines — “Make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!”McIrish will tell me if I voice my hunger. (He then makes me the quesadilla.) I’ve also been known to say, “I’ve been chatting online with babes all day,” to justify why I’m still in my PJs at 6 p.m. Any time sea bass is on a restaurant menu, we must say “I caught you a delicious bass.” We must.

 

Houston, we have a problem. The internet is down. My cell phone battery died. The smoke detectors are going off at 3 a.m. for no reason. We’re out of chardonnay. Poor Tom Hanks. Did he realize that line would be so misused? Speaking of Tom Hanks, I also love to say to my husband, “I am the captain now,” but he never thinks it’s funny for some reason.

 

I think what we love about whipping these lines out is that it brings back the shared memories of snuggling up and watching these movies together. It’s a form of love, actually.

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