Kristan Higgins | NYT Bestselling Author

At their twenty-fifth high school reunion, four former best friends discover that growing up is way messier than anticipated—and the past isn’t nearly as finished as they thought.

Back in senior year, Audrey, Micah, Jasmine, and Beck were the Core Four: the lucky one, the beautiful one, the smart one, the sporty one. They had color-coded dreams, inside jokes, and a lifelong friendship they thought would last forever. But graduation night ended in a tragic accident, followed by the kind of silence that stretches for decades.

Now, they’ve returned for their reunion, each carrying a life that looks nothing like the glossy future they imagined. There are stalled careers, complicated marriages, outspoken adult children, and secrets that never fit into holiday cards. For one of them, a diagnosis of early-onset dementia turns the weekend into a ticking clock.

Across one unforgettable weekend, the Core Four must decide if their past can still change their future together.

Praise for The Me I Used to Be

“The Me I Used to Be is a two-tissue-box read (possibly three, just to be safe), but it’s not a tearjerker—there’s nothing gimmicky about it. This book confronts the complexities of friendship and love and ambition with honesty and heart as the characters learn to do the same. Required reading for everyone in midlife trying to make sense of where they are and where they want to be.” —Lauren Willig, New York Times bestselling author

“A restorative, redemptive, heartbreakingly beautiful story about life, love and the power of female friendship. I loved it.” —Paige Toon, international bestselling author of Don’t Fall in Love with Me

“A heart-wrenching, hugely entertaining and hopeful read! Kristan Higgins expertly navigates the messy, beautiful complexities of lifelong friendship and the enduring power of the past. Every reader will recognize the ‘Core Four’—Audrey, Micah, Jasmine and Beck—as they reunite twenty-five years after a shocking tragedy tore them apart. During their achingly nostalgic reunion weekend in an idyllic setting, the layers are peeled back to reveal secrets, regrets and the enduring bonds that once held them together. Higgins’s writing is sharp and tender, capturing the evolution of these four women with depth and humanity. She gives us a poignant exploration of how we lose ourselves and, more importantly, how we find our way back through the grace of acceptance and the people who truly know us. A must-read for anyone who has ever wondered about the road not taken, this is a story to be shared and savored.” —Susan Wiggs, New York Times bestselling author of Wayward Girls

One of the things the Core Four used to do was ride the horses at Bittercreek Farm, where Audrey grew up. Now, twenty-five years later, they’re doing it again as an homage to the past. Beck, however, was never much for horseback riding, has been given the oldest and most rickety horse and is trying to figure out how to dismount. Obviously, this is when she finds out that Stephen, Audrey’s brother, has also been invited for the weekend.

EXCERPT

“Hi,” Beck says. She may have said that already, but her brain isn’t . . . it can’t . . . Holy shit, Stephen Wentworth. Starlight chooses this minute to shift, and Beck grabs on to the saddle and some of Starlight’s mane. From the back of the horse come plopping sounds. Of course. Then the horse yawns and shakes its grizzled head.

She hasn’t seen Stephen since she was twenty-four years old when, gently, kindly and wisely, he broke her heart.

Jasmine dismounts in a fluid move, and a pang of envy shoots through Beck. Such grace is beyond her. “Maybe someone can help me down?” she suggests. Her face is hot, her stomach quivering.

Already, Stephen is coming toward her, extending a hand. A hand will not get her—six-foot-two, 173 pounds—off this horse. “Is there a crane nearby?” she asks. “A ladder? The fire department, maybe?”

Stephen smiles, and good God, it isn’t fair, the whole men-age-so-beautifully thing. Fix your face, she tells herself fiercely. He takes her around the waist. Her knee has locked, which means her leg can’t straighten out, so Stephen pretty much drags her off the horse. It isn’t a Ryan Gosling move, as Beck is not Rachel McAdams, but then she’s on her feet. Her bad knee buckles, but Stephen keeps her from falling . . . awfully close to falling back in love. Oh my God. Stop with the cheesiness, Morrow. This is not a rom-com, and if it were, it would actually star Rachel McAdams, not you.

“You good?” he murmurs.

“Mm-hmm.” A sharp pain screeches in her knee, her quad muscle burns, her femur aches and her face is two inches from Stephen’s. Kissing distance, once upon a time.

“We got together in college,” Stephen says, turning to his sister. “But also high school.” He grins at Beck, and every internal organ she has seems to lunge toward him.

“Excuse me?” Audrey says, blinking. “High school?”

Beck steps back, into Starlight’s hindquarters, grabbing on to the stirrup for balance. “Auds, I didn’t seduce your brother in high school. We kissed a couple times. Maybe three.” It had been six times. She bends her knees, working out the stiffness.

“It was six times,” Stephen says, twinkling at her. “I counted.” Then he steps closer, wraps his arms around her and hugs so hard her feet come off the ground.

There are not a lot of men who can make Beck Morrow feel delicate. In fact, there has only ever been one. He smells clean and wholesome, and his shoulders are brawny with muscle.

“How did we miss it?” Jasmine asks. “I thought the Core Four had no secrets.”

“Well, we had at least one,” Beck says.